November 12, 2003
CMA

I only thought the Bronco/Patriots game was my biggest letdown last week. That fiasco was merely a warm-up to my utter disappointment with “Country’s Biggest Night, the CMA Awards” two nights later.  Not that the CMA’s were all bad.  The good stuff from last Wednesday included Alan Jackson, Toby Keith, George Strait, Martina McBride and Tim McGraw.   Allison Krauss and Union Station absolutely killed.  That covers approximately fifteen minutes.  Unfortunately the show was three hours long.

     Johnny Cash deserved the Irving Waugh award.  He has been a giant like country music will never see again.  I’m big on John.   On my I-Pod are sixty-six (I counted) Johnny Cash songs.  But since John hasn’t received an award of any kind from the CMA since 1969, it might have been nice for the Academy to honor him while he was still alive.   That would have accomplished two things.  First, the “man in black” would have been able to receive the accolades of his peers while standing before them and two, we would have been spared the absolute debacle that took place when a group of country entertainers did a Cash medley.  Willie looked lost, Kris never could sing, how Cheryl Crowe wound up on a country show still puzzles me and now, a week later, the Nitty Gritty Dirt band must still be looking for the notes they couldn’t find to start “Will The Circle Be Un-Broken”.  The one Cash song that should have been included was Orange Blossom Special because to these ears the whole medley was a real train wreck.

    What Johnny Cash should not have received was “Album of the Year”, “Video of the Year” and “Single of the Year”.  This was for his song “Hurt”.  You haven’t heard it?  Well join the club. Written by rocker Trent Reznor it was a hit for his group Nine Inch Nails.  (Not to state the obvious but Nine Inch Nails ain’t country)  “Hurt” was a cut on John’s final album American IV.  A nice album, the critics say, but it would have caused barely a ripple in Nashville had not Mr. Cash passed away.  As proved before by Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison, death is certainly a great career move.

    I’m also a huge Norah Jones fan.  But what was she doing on the CMA’s?  She’s a jazz artist.  You think Norah Jones is going to play Country Jam or Cheyenne Frontier Days?  No, if you want to see Norah, or Cheryl Crowe, they’ll be at a venue in Boulder or Aspen.  These were supposed to be the “country awards”.  It’s country music’s showcase for the year.  Where were Clint Black, Reba, Leanne Womack, The Dixie Chicks or Tricia Yearwood?  Randy Travis “Three Wooden Crosses” was single of the year but Mr. Travis was nowhere to be found.

      Is it possible to have country stars on the country awards? Obviously not, as we were treated to Leanne Rimes and Kid Rock?  Once upon a time long, long ago Leanne was country but now the radio stations playing Leanne are “Mix” and “K-Joy”.   Kid Rock?  To country fans he’s that goofy looking guy in the Coors Beer commercials.

     When Trista Rehn and William Shatner appeared I was almost as excited as when it was announced for the umpteenth time “CSI Miami is all new this Friday”.  I mean nothing says country like a giggle-chick from a reality series and what appeared to be her over-weight grampa wearing a really bad rug.

    And we haven’t even covered the fact that country’s biggest star, Toby Keith, nominated for seven awards, went home empty handed.

     There’s no complaint with awards to Martina McBride and Alan Jackson.  They’re definitely country.  But Rascal Flats as group of the year?  Only if there’s a Justin Timberlake wanna-be category at the CMA’s.

    While sitting here venting on the I-Book the radio has been tuned to a country station.  The artists in the past couple of hours included Waylon Jennings (dead), Exile (broke up 15 years ago), Restless Heart (split 10 years ago), Ricky Van Shelton (last heard from in ’97) and Mel McDaniel (Mel McDaniel?)  Hey Nashville where are the new country artists coming from?