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June
10, 2004 |
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Missed again. Great inventions are there for the taking, right in front of my nose and yet yours truly has nary a clue. For how many years did I carry suitcase after suitcase through the airports of America? And did I at anytime say, “Wouldn’t this be easier if I just put wheels on one end of the valise?” Nope, never thought of it. For decades I’ve ridden bicycles and also played a little golf. Did it ever occur that by putting balloon tires on a golf cart it would make the going considerably easier on life’s links? Me? Not a chance. But some guy in Missoula, Montana did and now balloon-tired Sun Mountain golf carts are more prevalent than gophers on golf courses from coast to coast. And now another opportunity for fame and riches by inventing the obvious has been missed. Scented bowling balIs are already on the market. A USA Today article a couple weeks back informed one and all that scented bowling balls, balls that smell like candy or flowers are all the rage in bowling emporiums throughout the land. In fact, Sports Illustrated last week carried the note that 9 out of the last 27 PBA (Professional Bowlers Association) tournaments have been won by keglers (professional bowlers) using scented balls. The fact the item was carried under the headline “Signs The Apocalypse Is Already Upon Us” should only be attributed to East Coast liberal media bias. A Utah Company, Storm Bowling, has created the better smelling bowling ball. Called the Triple X Factor, the scented ball has the company on a roll. (bowling joke) The Triple X may be ordered to smell like grape, raspberry, black cherry, orange, chocolate, cinnamon apple and black licorice. The marketing opportunities for a scented bowling ball must be endless. Why the PBA will have to come up with a new voting category. At the end of the year writers will not only select the Rookie of the Year and the MVP but also pick a winner in the new category, Bowler with the Most Aromatic Balls. I know a reticence to accept the reality of scented bowling balls shows my age. I grew up in an era when bowling balls smelled like cigarettes and stale beer. One drove around all week with the bowling ball in the back seat of the car and to kill the odor an air freshener shaped like a Christmas tree hung from the rear view mirror. The effects of utilizing your bowling ball as an air freshener could be devastating. Just as Wally World supposedly portends the extinction of the small independent retailer, scented bowling balls now threaten the very existence of the Christmas tree air freshener industry. Plus a bowling ball weighs almost 20 pounds; just think of the damage it could do hanging from the rear view mirror. While the opportunity to invent a scented bowling ball has been missed, maybe, just maybe, the same technology could be applied to golf balls. Before starting the golf match in today’s world, on the first tee a foursome throws their balls in the air to randomly select the partners for the day’s wagering. Whatever lands closest together, say the Titlist and the Precept, are partners in a two-dollar Nassau against the remaining two balls like the Max-Fli and the Callaway. With scented balls it would now be the kiwi and the mango versus the licorice and the potpourri. It all sounds so much more civilized. Not that there wouldn’t be problems. For instance should two golfers be using the same brand of ball, albeit it with different scents, there could be confusion when determining who was away when it comes to hitting the second shot. It’s possible the dilemma could only be solved by a pair of over age fifty golfers, in the middle of a fairway, sniffing one another’s balls. On second thought scented golf balls might constitute getting way too far ahead of life’s power curve. |
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