August 1, 2007
Their Favorite Play?
The Down & Out

Ain’t it fun to be a sports fan today?  Not.  Could pro sports be in worse shape?  Here’s a brief highlight on the lowlifes currently taking up space in the stadiums around our nation. 

The NBA, known for handing out large fines to players and coaches publicly criticizing officials, announced a referee, a man they pay over a quarter of a mil a year to officiate, had to turn in his whistle after being charged by the feds with accepting money from gamblers to, ahem, alter the outcome of NBA games.  

The league commissioner assured one and all this is the barrel’s only rotten apple.  Excuse me?  Just a few years back some NBA refs plead guilty to tax evasion.  It seems they’re flown from city to city first class.  But these “honest” officials turned their first class tickets in for coach and pocketed the difference without telling the IRS. 

The NFL borders on being in a class by itself.  Getting arrested seems to be a team effort for the Cincinnati Bengals.  The past season has witnessed most of their roster being on a first name basis with Ohio and Kentucky police.  The Bears ex-nose tackle Tank Johnson achieved his “ex” status by being unable to go through life without being repeatedly charged with firearm violations, drug possession and speeding. 

Then there’s Nashville Titan paragon of virtue “Pacman” Jones who, after his umpteenth arrest, was suspended from the league for a year. 

Even NFL glamour guys have issues.  Quarterback’s Matt Leinart and Tom Brady fathered children with ladies no longer a part of their life.  While the two seemingly learned everything one needed to know at USC and Michigan on picking up the blitz and attacking a Cover-2 defense, they missed the class on birth control.  In quarterback speak the two have a high completion ratio in the game of love. 

And we haven’t even discussed Michael Vick. 

The Tour de France, thankfully it ended Sunday, seemed too most resemble a last man-pedaling contest.  Many wondered, after myriad failed drug tests, if more than a handful of riders would be available to finish the race.  Last year Tour officials waited until two weeks after the race to charge the winner with doping.  This year’s yellow jersey, Michael Rasmussen, was yanked from the peloton 4 days before the Tour ended. 

Last, and certainly least, there’s major league baseball.  Barry Bonds, felt guilty of “juicing” by almost all baseball fans but so far convicted by no one, a man wanting us to believe his hat size has increased from 6 3/4 to 8 due to rigorous “strength training”, has by now, most likely broken Hank Aaron’s home run record.  And outside of San Francisco, the hometown gives Barry a free pass, the event was accompanied by a nation wide yawn.  Even baseball czar Bud, “What Me Worry?” Selig was ambivalent about attending the record-shattering event.  Finally, at the last moment, he grumped, “Oh, okay, I’ll go.”  Ah, enthusiasm. 

Bond’s perceived guilt is so widespread, noted sports psychologist Harry Edwards, as reported by Sports Illustrated, compared Bonds to O J Simpson, saying both are free men, but prisoners of the widely circumstantial evidence against them. 

It seems, ESPN, the self-proclaimed “Worldwide Leader in Sports” has more legal analysts on camera than anchors.  That’s to be expected.  Between sports stars running afoul of the law and determining who is today’s most “Now” athlete, who has time for scores?