September 12, 2007
 

Of Necks
and Huskers

Blame Nebraska.  Why else would I read Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck (and other thoughts on being a woman)?  While not necessarily “chick lit”, the fact remains bald headed geezers are a long way from the book’s target audience.  

We were motoring west, headed home across the land of the Bugeaters and it was Jan’s turn to drive.  Reading anything is a huge improvement over staring out the window at the mind numbing lack of scenery making up western Nebraska and the eastern plains of Colorado.  So, I reached into the back seat and grabbed the book my wife had just finished.  Interestingly enough, the slim volume, in spite of its title, was a most pleasant surprise. 

I Feel Bad About My Neck is a light hearted, well written, rage against the aging process.  Right off, the author dispels the bromide “aging is better than the alternative” saying what she’s talking about is her preference for being twenty-seven rather than sixty-seven, not comparing life’s current stage to the hereafter.   

My question, since Ms. Ephron and I are approximately the same age, what does she have to be upset about?   A Wellesley grad, an intern in the Kennedy White House followed by a turn as a reporter for the New York Post, she went from newspapers to penning movie scripts.   When Harry Met Sally, Silkwood, Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail, are her best-known efforts. Plus Ms. Ephron also directed both of the Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks flicks.  Besides writing for the screen, Ms. Ephron is published regularly in foo-foo mags like Vanity Fair.  She’s married to an author, Nicholas Pillegi, he specializes in Mafia novels that seem to end up as Martin Scorsese movies, ala Scarface.  Additionally, Ms. Ephron appears to mix socially and be on a first name basis with bigwigs in the arts and left wing political communities.  You know, the beautiful people. 

On the other hand, she was a child of alcoholic parents and has been married three times. Her second husband was Carl Bernstein of Watergate and Deep Throat fame.  He broke up the marriage by having an affair with a lady Ms. Ephron thought was her best friend.  About her philandering mate Nora reportedly said, “He’d have sex with a Venetian blind.”  

Is it possible Ms. Ephron peaked too soon?  Being hugely successful from the get go, hitting home run after home run since your early twenties could cause one to become so used to the top of the heap that how your neck looks when you stare in the mirror becomes a matter of great import.   

Had she followed my career path and been a college dropout who married well on the first try, had a business career that peaked somewhere in the neighborhood of mediocre, but was lucky enough to live most of life in Colorado as opposed to New York City, then she too might find her current age the high point in life’s journey.    

But a little gnome in the back of my brain keeps muttering, “Hey dummy, maybe the major contributor to your happy-happy state is ignorance.”  That’s quite possible because, come to think of it, I can never remember having a single thought about the state of my neck.