September 19, 2007
 

On Iowa
to PC Victory

Way to go Iowa.  Now we know the apocalypse is at hand. Political correctness, in its most asinine form, is alive and well in the heartland.  Last Saturday the mighty Iowa State Cyclones, expected to go 0-12 this year, took to the Astro-turf against the archrival University of Iowa Hawkeye’s and won 15-13.  The victory by the boys from Ames was totally unexpected yet this astronomical upset was not the news shocker of the weekend in the Corn Belt. 

Before the game, Philip Jones, University of Iowa Vice-President for Student Services, and if that title doesn’t just reek academic bureaucracy what does, canceled a corn-on-the-cob eating contest scheduled as part of the  “Beat State Week” celebration that leads up to the big game, because the corn consumption contest “encourages gluttony”. 

Now a valid case can be made for what kind of an intra-state rivalry kicks off with a corn-on-the cob-eating contest?  Sure it’s a little strange to people living in the real world, but that’s life in the hallowed halls of Iowa ivy where my wife and I hung out after high school.  Ours is a mixed marriage, Jan’s an Iowa U. grad while I attended the football factory (not) better known as Iowa State. 

Mr. Jones, aka “his officious-ness”, asked his staff to veto eating contests to support new health-conscious initiatives.  The corn-on-the cob marathon was not the first food contest thrown in the dumper by the oh-so PC prof.  A mano y mano hot dog challenge planned by the residence halls was also trashed. 

It probably tells one all they need to know about the Iowa University academic community that while the rest of the country is justifiably concerned about curbing student drinking, in the land of the Hawkeye they’re keying efforts to avoiding the appearance of gluttony that Mr. Jones finds endemic to corn-on-the-cob and hot dog eating contests.  

These are college students for crying out loud.  If there was real concern over excessive food consumption, more attention should be given Jell-O-shots.  What’s next, the University posting signs at the Airliner (long time Iowa City watering hole) “make one for the road a beer, not a burger”? 

Instead of banning such activity, maybe food consumption should become an NCAA approved sport, replacing the “savage violence of football” so abhorred by the pc set.  If you’ve noticed the portly coaches patrolling the sidelines for Kansas and Maryland, you’re equally aware those schools would consistently rank among the Top 10 college ingestion squads.  No matter whether the sport was hot dog downing or corn-on-the-cob consumption as opposed to punt, pass and kick, the Notre Dame coach would not have started the season 0-3.  It won’t happen.  Just from a marketing standpoint, the “Fighting Irish” does a much better job of “waking the echo’s” than “Eating Irish”. 

Back in the heartland, the problem still remains just how students will be allowed to celebrate the annual Iowa State-Iowa U big game week?  Would the good Mr. Jones prefer a coloring book contest, a goat roping or a tractor pull?  Better skip the tractor pull, the p c community might find such a contest overly cruel to tractors.