January 16, 2008

Achieving a
Grocery Shopping PR

Giving the gift of geezer insight to the world.  It’s a mission.   

To say living the retired life brings change to life’s routine is an understatement.  For every male entering the adventure that is life’s final third, there’s usually a female not exactly whispering in his ear, “Sure you’ve retired but keep in mind, meals still need to be prepared, household chores and yard work must be done plus bills are waiting to be paid.  What part of that weekly responsibility are you going to assume?” 

And now you know why so many geezers are seen sacrificing valuable ski, golf or fishing time to do the family grocery shopping. Hey, it’s either that or vacuuming. But when it comes to taking the grocery list and heading for the supermarket, we’re definitely discussing an area of everyday life that could certainly benefit from male efficiency.   

First off, supermarkets must become more aware of this burgeoning demographic, the male geezer, now populating their stores in increasing numbers. Grocerydom’s marketing mavens must be made to realize that with the male of the species, a trip to the supermarket is much like a drive to California to visit the brother-in-law’s family.  Both are timed events.  Once one walks through the supermarket door, list in hand, the clock starts. Every trip is the search for a PR, a personal record, of achieving the maximum of grocery list items in the minimum time. And nothing throws sand in a geezer shopper’s transmission, gets him behind on the clock, like wandering aisle-to-aisle vainly searching for some mystery item.  (Two weeks ago it was waffle bowls) 

First off the board hanging from the ceiling explaining what aisle holds what, can’t cover the entire inventory, i.e. waffle bowls.  And the guy stocking shelves, if you can find said person, though most friendly says, “Try aisle seven.”  I don’t want to “try” I want to “know”.  Did I mention there’s a time factor in play? 

Here’s the plan.  Every supermarket chain has a website.  On that site is each and every store location.  Click on the store where you’re going to shop and up pops a listing of where every product on your grocery list is located.  You click on, oh say, waffle bowls, the ‘puter screen says “aisle six by ice cream cones” and you write the location on your grocery list.  By penciling in the aisle and shelf location along side every item on the grocery list supplied to you by the person you once promised to “love, honor and empty the dishwasher”, one has in hand the perfect plan for setting a new personal time record in maximum shopping efficiency. 

For the first time, thanks to pre-planning made possible by the supermarket website, the list of items written on the back of a used envelope and sitting up front in the grocery cart will lead from produce to aisle one, followed by the items to be gathered on two and three, then it’s a stop at meat followed by milk and eggs, on to paper products with the last stop, of course, being ice cream and voila! It’s checkout city!