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April 16, 2008 |
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It’s not that easy being green. So sang Sesame Street’s Kermit the Frog a couple of generations ago. Well Kermie, you were ahead of your time. Never, in the history of mankind, have there been so many helping us all to be “green”. What hath Al Gore wrought? Marketing gurus worldwide have jumped on the eco-friendly bandwagon. Green marketing is the latest zeitgeist hype. No matter what your product, in fact seemingly the sillier the better, it’s now de rigueur to be “eco-friendly.” While it takes an environmental “Scrooge” of the first order to badmouth a movement whose stated goal is a healthier world, are you prepared to pay the tariff? Because among the “beautiful people” green is the new black and it’s really, really pricey. In a concentrated effort to reach the consumer extraordinaire, the folks among us with more money than sense, today’s marketers have made “eco-friendly” the buzzword of the moment. Basically it gives the “green light” (pun intentional) to buying whatever you don’t need in the name of helping Mother Earth. For instance, at greatgreenproducts.com under the headline “This Bag is Garbage” the eco-friendly among us can purchase a handbag, “crafted from the colorful plastic bags that litter the streets of New Delhi. The perfect shape to carry around your newly improved karma.” Cost $24.95. Then there’s eco-friendly jewelry. A broach that once was a Trader Joe’s grocery bag is yours for $90 while a salad set from recycled lobster and clam shells will have you “shell out” (heh heh heh) $98. For the walk down the eco-friendly aisle there’s eco-friendly wedding rings, made from “eco friendly sustainable walrus ivory adorned with recycled gold and conflict and devastation free diamonds.” Just one thousand dollars. Power nappers should consider organic bed linens. “Don’t sleep in a toxic bed. Inspired by nature and committed to preserving it our designers translate nature’s flow and flux into graceful images screen printed into organic fabrics.” The flow and flux in king size will run you $395. Seemingly there’s not a product on the market that isn’t designed to lighten your wallet in an eco-friendly way. Whineranddiner.net urges pet lovers to buy a “luxurious, eco-friendly elevated dog and cat feeder created from wine crates. They’re the latest “must have” pet accessories for wine connoisseurs and interior decorators. Plus now you can feed your pet with panache.” All it costs to feed Phideaux with panache is $295. Did you realize there’s now eco-friendly vodka? I thought, being made from potatoes, all vodka was eco-friendly. “Nyet”. 360 Flo advertises itself as the “new eco-luxury vodka”. Don’t expect to find an “eco-luxury” label to be on the shelves at Wal-Mart or Target. It got to be a game. I’d google the word “eco-friendly” followed by any product popping into the brain. There’s eco-friendly everything from pianos to beer. Where did it stop? At eco-friendly jockstrap. “Made from regenerated celluse fiber which is produced from bamboo pulp. $16.95.” Outdoor cocktail gatherings are just around the corner. Talk about your conversational icebreaker, “I’m drinking environmentally sustainable vodka and wearing my new eco-friendly jock strap. It makes me feel so much closer to Mother Earth.” |